Recession Red... Communists, eat your hearts out.

Everybody wants bail-out. Poets, the environment, Somali pirates, people who thought they'd be able to retire before they died...

Anyway, guess what stock went up today? I'll give you a hint: you can store it for decades and it's especially good for colds.

That's right. Campbell's Soup.

Thanks for the stock tip, Wonkette. An aside: my roommate sent me a message tonight that said simply, "Well, Capitalism was fun. Wonder what we'll do now."

At least New Yorkers have a sense of humor: Gray's Papaya has a "recession special," and I passed a wine store advertising "Recession Red" for just $7.

Also, in case you missed it: Heath Ledger stars in "The Dark Bailout."